CRAZY. :P

http://www.fanfiction.net/s/6861947/1/To_Fly_With_You

"What the hell are you doing?! You're gonna be late!" I screamed at him, throwing his clothes on the bed.

He got up, suddenly, his hair sticking up in all places. "Wha- wha happen?"

If he wasn't already late, I would have laughed. But he was already running late. I'd be blamed again. Aren't I always? Oh well.

"You're going to be late! Again!" I was shrieking, I know, but he was already late! His eyes turned into a fish's. "You're shitting me, aren't you?"

"Would I be panicking if you weren't?!"

"SHIT!!" And he ran all over the place. Grabbing whatever articles of clothing he could find in the pig sty he calls his room. I swear, I think something died here. Oh, by the way, I'm Feona. And that idiot running all over the place is my best friend, Patrick. You might be wondering what exactly is he late for. Well, his date of course. He's always late for those. Sometimes I pity his dates. All waiting for him. But just sometimes.

Most of the time, I'm jealous of them. Yes, I am jealous of them. You see, once upon a time, we had something. But it was during the wrong tine and wrong situation. I didn't know I would be pining for him 'til now. My girlfriends all tell me to get over him. I mean, its been years. I want to, I really do. I just don't know how. So I go on other dates. None of them lasting, because all of them get compared to the same person. Sometimes I feel guilty over that, but then I see him with his dates. And get all jealous again. Its not healthy, I know. But I really don't know what to do. I need help.

Anyways, lover boy's all dressed up and neat now. Well, as neat as he can be. "How do you breathe in here?" I asked, referring to his room. "Look who's talking, your room isn't exactly clean, now is it?"

"Hey! My room's ultimately cleaner compared to your pig sty."

"Whatever. Let's go. Can't keep John and Joanna waiting, now can we?" He grabbed his keys and dragged me outside. I really didn't want to go on double dates anymore than I have to. But what I really don't like is seeing him with his flavor of the month. Oh well.

We arrived at Circles, where we saw John and Joanna. As usual, Joanna was her stunning, glamorous self. John smiled at me. He knows about my feelings. We've been together for about two weeks. I told him on our first date that I couldn't use him. But apparently, if he gets me to go on dates with him, then he's fine with getting used.

We entered the restaurant and the Maitre' d showed us our seats. We were in our private booth. Oh, the advantages of owning the restaurant. Yes, I do own it. That's why all my friends love eating here. Besides the great food, they like being friends with the owner. What they don't know is that I charge them more. Just kidding. I'm a fair owner after all.

Moving on, Patrick and Slut-for-Brains, I mean, Joanna, are beside each other on the other side with John and I facing them. Patrick got a bit too affectionate and I had look away. John takes my hand and gives me a reassuring smile. I try to smile back, although I think it turned out like a grimace. One of our waiters, Andrew came and took our orders. I then looked at John, really looked at him. We was handsome in his own right. I think moreso than Patrick. Would it be so hard to fall in love with him instead? I want to give him a chance. A real chance. Who knows, he may be the real key to my happiness.

With a renewed mind, I smiled again and I am proud to say that it came out perfectly. For the first time, I talked to my date. Listened to him. And enjoyed his company. I almost forgot that there was another couple with us had Joanna not moaned, I would have talked with John for hours. But she did. And everything came back to me, overwhelming me. I excused myself and went outside for some air. I didn't cry, but I almost did. God knows just how many times I cried for him. If John didn't follow me out, I would've left and cried by myself in peace. But he did, and he held me in his arms as tears softly ran down my face. "Do you want to go somewhere else? Just the two of us?" he whispered in my ear. I simply nodded and he went inside to get his things and mine.

We started walking away, when Patrick suddenly came out, looking disheveled and everything. "Where are we going?"

John answered for me. "We are going for a walk. I don't know where you're going," and again I wondered why I can't fall in love with him instead. I sigh and look to Patrick. Bad idea. He looks all sad like he can't believe I would go somewhere without him. It made me hope and all that but I crushed those hopes and squeezed John's hand, silently telling him that I wanted to go.

Patrick looked at our hands and said, "Oh, okay then. I guess I'll see you at home, Eff."

I nodded and said, "Don't wait up for me."

It looked like something went through his eyes, but we walked away before I could be sure.

John and I had fun on the playground. Just the two of us. He dropped me off at home, and kissed me good night. When I opened the door, I was smiling, but what I saw inside made me drop it right away.

You see, in our house, we made a pact. We would invite people in our house, but never let them stay there. What I saw insideade me wonder just what's been happening to our friendship that it actually led to this point.

On MY bed, he was with her, both obviously naked, if the clothing on the floor was any indication. I gasp, not loud enough for them to wake up, thank God. I called John, told him to pick me up. I couldn't take it there. The doorbell was what woke hin up. Patrick, started explaining, but I stopped him and said, "Not now, Eff. I can't even stand being near you right now." He made to get up but Joanna's hand was stopping him. He stared at it as if it was the cause of everything. But I couldn't care anymore. I walked out without saying goodbye.

Its time for me to love myself. And let go. - tbc

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It's been too much, and it's just the start of the year. I honestly don't know how I'm going to handle everything this year. I mean, come on. It's going to be terribly hard this year. Too much responsibilities, I just don't know what to do. Let's face it. I'm not much of a leader am I? Please understand. I gave practice and school. And that doesn't even include my extra curriculars. And, really, I'm no where near a good leader as they say I am. I sti haven't found my confidence. I guess that's why I'm always trying too hard in class. I'm trying to prove, not to anyone, but myself, that I can be great. If only I had a little more faith in myself.

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She closed her eyes. They were children again.

Flashback

"Catch me if you can!" she squealed.

They were in the meadow, running around as children do, playing a game of tag. She ran and ran, knowing he really could catch her. He was bigger than her a bit. But Mum said she was more mature. She ran farther away, feeling the wind blowing her brown locks. She glanced back, he was almost there! She ran faster, but she knew it was too late. He tackled her to the ground, all the while she was laughing and screaming

"Thought you could outrun me, did you?" he said and started tickling her.

"Stop it!" she shrieked, laughing, still.

"Say I'm the faster runner."

"NEVER!"

"That's too bad then," then proceeded to tickle her harder.

"Fine, FINE! You're the fastest runner!"

"Well, I wouldn't say fastest," he said, lying down beside her. She sat up, stared at him, a look of indignance on her face, then she punched him.

"Hey! That hurt!"

"You're such a baby."

He then went back in time, to when he was three and started to pout. "That's not gonna work," she said lying down once again and gazed upon the clear blue sky. He harrumped and just stared at the sky as well.

"Do you think we'll always be liked this?" she asked after a few minutes.

"Like what?"

"Like this, having fun, playing around, just lying around watching the clouds go by," she said wistfully.

"Of course we will!" he said indignantly. "Why wouldn't we be?"

"I don't know. I just thought of it, I guess."

He sat up, looked into her eyes, holding her face in his hands he said, "No matter what happens we'll always be together, you got that?" She nodded, looking quite pleased with whst he was saying. "I promise you that, alright?" he said. Again, she nodded. And to her shock, she got the very first kiss of her life. One she would never forget.

End of Flshback

And she didn't she never did. No matter who she was with, and where she was, she remembered. And now, after how many years, she was back again in their meadow. But now, she was alone he would never run after her again, never tackle or tickle her. 'Cause as she stared in front of her, she read it for the upteenth time,

Benedict Andrew MacTavish
April 23, 1994 - June 5, 2029
A valiant man
A brave son
A caring father
A loving husband

You will be forever missed by your love ones, but will be forever remembered as the man you became. We love you

She didn't know when she started crying, but she did notice when her little boy came in front of her and wiped her tear-stained face.

"Don't cry, Mummy. Remember what you told me? You told me that Daddy will be always there. We just can't see him," he said furrowing his little brow.

"I know dear, I just miss him," she said. Smiling tearfully at her son. She let him run back to his Nanny. And once again looked back at the headstone. She closed her eyes once again.

"Hello there. What's your name?" he said.

"Hi. I'm Ariana. And you are?" she asked.

"Benedict Andrew McTavish. But my friends call me Drew," he replied.

"Hi Drew do you want to play?"

"Sorry, but I have to go now," he said, pouting.

"Oh. That's alright. I'll just see you later then. Bye."

"Don't say goodbye. Just say, 'I'll say Hello later.' That's what my Papatells me anyway."

"Okay, I'll say Hello to you later," she said, smilling.

"I'll say Hello to you later," he said, grinning at her.

-----------------------------------------------------------

"I'll say Hello to you later alright? I promise," he said while holding her face in his hands and kissing her forehead.

"Don't leave, please," she said, her body shaking with sobs.

"I'll be fine."

"Fine I'll say Hello to you later, then," she said, smiling sadly.

She opened her eyes, looked down at the headstone and said, "Hello, dear." She blew a kiss and followed her son back to the car. -fin

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As he lifted her up into the air, he looked into her eyes, as she gazed back at him with so much love that it tore her apart knowing she could never have him the way she wanted.

He look at her, into her eyes, and saw something he never noticed 'til now. It was a look that he was familiar to. He saw it everyday in the eyes of his father as he gazes upon his mother. He saw it in the eyes of lovers a they walk by the River Seine.

But alas, the spell was broken when he put her down, and their dance continued. He glanced at the crowd and saw her smiling aat him. It was then that he remembered that he was getting married in a few weeks and will never know what that look meant, since this will be the last time that their paths will cross.

As they waved and gave their final bow, their eyes met one last time, each saying something the other would never know.

They exited the stage, neither noticing the tear that fell from each other's eye, mourning for the love they will never have. -- fin

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It was a warm night as they walked along the shore.

"You know, I've always wanted to do this," she said.

"Do what?" he asked.

"Walk along the beach with someone I like," she said, nonchalantly.

He stopped, shocked into silence, staring at her with a look of contemplation on his pale face, while she walked on as if she hadn't said anything.

He shook his head, a sudden smile erupting on his face. He ran to catch up to her and said, "I do too."

"You what?"

"I like you too."

At that moment, their fingers were touching so he took that moment to entwine his fingers with hers. "You want to know how much?"

Without waiting for her answer, he leaned toward her and kissed her. Although she was surprised a bit, she wrapped her arms around him after a while and kissed him back. -- fin

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Yes, because it hurts so much when people make fun of you. I'm afraid that they might not accept who I am, which is why it freaks me out to be totally open to someone. But I have nothing against people opening up to me. In fact I'm very honored when they talk to me. I'm not really emotionally guarded, I just avoid the topic of myself altogether.

So yeah I made this in a notebook, but I wanted to transfer it here so that if something happens to the notebook, I'll still have a copy. :)

March 28, 2010 1:08 PM

Afternoon dear reader. Well it may not be afternoon when you read this but you get my point. I apologize for the CRAPPY handwriting. <-- Is that double T or not? Seriously? I get confused you see. And to think I hate typos. And there is something seriously wrong with me today. So sorry. May I introduce myself? Well, later. When the part is me, introducing myself. There will be a part like that, I swear.  But since this part is dedicated to my summer, I'll stick with that. I seriously hate writing, although there are times when its absolutely good. Those are usually the times when I'm in a particularly good mood. And now's really not the time. So, yeah. "Nothing in this world would last, the same reason why God gave us hearts to keep memories of the past." Just something I saw in a video. It was the Seniors' accolade to us Juniors. I want to write something new, but I promised myself, I would finish every page. And I keep my promises.

Today, the Church has been involved in so many controversies, issues and problems. A woman aborting their children is something that has been going on for a while now. I cannot say that I understand their situation, because I do not, but killing an unborn child is not the answer to their problems. They should have been responsible and they should have known that pregnancy could be a consequence to their actions. My understanding on this topic is based on what I see, hear, and read. I cannot condemn nor judge these women but neither can I condone their actions.

Most people today say that they cannot attend religious services during Sundays because they are “too busy”. I personally believe that if they really are very eager to attend these services they will find a way around their busy schedules to attend. But they do not which is the reason why people going to mass become fewer. Although in some countries, like the Philippines, the problem is not with the people who attend, rather the people who serve in the mass. Churches are now encouraging people to become a member of one congregation or another.

Thorough all this, I still believe that the Church can carry on while there are still believers who want to acknowledge the Lord in their lives. All these controversies about the Church are, for me, another way for the people to prove that they are right against something bigger than them. I, myself, do not believe in any of the rumors circulating about the church. I admit The Da Vinci Code was a good read, I think Angels and Demons will be too, but for me it was just what it was written to be, fiction. Fiction at its best actually. Nothing can shake this faith I have, nothing yet anyway.

Nationalism is when you pride yourself on being a Filipino. You value the culture and the history behind the Philippines. Being nationalistic is not only loving your country but also respecting and honoring your country. You are proud of the Filipino culture and the products sold here. Best of all, you are not ashamed in being called a Filipino.

If you hear about foreigners discriminating your kababayans you jump to their defense. We shouldn’t let other people put us down, just because of the fact that we’re Filipinos. We all deserve so much better. We need to know and remember to respect our flag. It represents our freedom and the whole essence of the Philippines.

Before, nationalism in the Philippines was brought about by the different western colonizers. Today, nationalism in the Philippines is rampant because of the constant complaint of the people regarding the government. We Filipinos have nationalism running through our veins since the time the Spaniards invaded our country. Naturally, until now we still fight for our right as citizens of this state. Nationalism is what fueled us to become the people we are today.

In this generation, people have changed the way they show their spirit of nationalism. Yes, they still go out on streets, protest loudly and cause mayhem. But through the years, citizens have matured. They found other ways in which they can prove the current government wrong. In some ways they have succeeded, in some they have not but still they tried and persevered.

We fight for justice, we fight for our rights, and we fight for our freedom. That, for me, is the true essence of nationalism. We do it in ways different from one another. Some people do it by force, while others do it in a more peaceful way. Our ancestors did it in a violent way, but now nothing much has changed. We may have our differences, but we still have the same goal.